perks of being a teacher...

(not)

I HATE ISTEP TESTING.

I just wanted to say that for future reference.

Do you realize:

• "Americans are taking as many as 600 million standardized tests each year in schools, colleges, and universities, and the workplace." Peter Sacks
  
• "Those born into less privileged social and economic circumstances (like the students I face every day) are punished at least twice: first, when they start life already behind their more privileged peers; and second, when the testing game's sorting, labeling, and screening of children begins." Peter Sacks
  
• "Standardization of our educational systems [which includes testing] is apt to stamp out individualism and defeat the very ends of education by leveling the product down rather than up." Harvey Cushing (1869-1939)

I have watched students over the past three days, who have found refreshing success in what they have learned in the classroom, become discouraged and lethargic. I cannot tell you how many "ah-ha!" moments I have seen already from these students in the short five weeks that I have been teaching them. These are children that are so thirsty for eduction, their parents spend their grocery money to afford the uniforms to send them to this charter school. I think that's a pretty big deal.

I complain a lot about my job...I don't like working from 6 to 5 every day...I have a very hard time not spending as much time with my children as I am used to, and the paperwork overload is so demanding I often find myself up until two or three in the morning trying to get it all completed.

This is the profession I chose, whether or not I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. It is the profession that I have dedicated my life to, and the profession I have chosen to receive my Master's Degree in. Each of these things is a big deal to me.

I'll get off my soap box for the day and go back to reading mindless ISTEP directions with ridiculous punch-out manipulatives.

I'll leave with a positive note (unlike the usual pessimistic me) and say that I am reminded of a quote from one of my favorite "teacher" movies of all time: The Emperor's Club.

"It is a teacher's responsibility always to hope."

these are the days...

There are some days where I am certain that making it is an "option"....that I'm not sure I can make it one more second, one more day.

And then, I am reminded that it doesn't just get to be about me anymore.

They are my life-preservers....and I mean that in the truest sense of the word.

Week-end conversation:

Mommy: "KJ...who is mommy's best girl?"
KJ: "Me Mommy!"

Mommy: "Who is Mommy's best guy?"
KJ: thinks thoughtfully for a second.... "Bubby, Mommy! He's your best guy!"

That's right, KJ. You are so very right.

"It may be that life is only worthwhile at moments. Perhaps that is all we ought to expect."
(Sherwood Anderson)

i carry your heart...

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;

and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)


i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you


here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)


and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart


i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)


ee cummings

hmm...

I fear I may have chosen the wrong profession.

I'm not a good teacher.

I don't think I'm even qualified to be called average.

This is not a good day for me.

Labor Day Fun!

I feel blessed beyond belief to have a lakehouse that I have been able to visit with my kiddos many times this summer. It is a place where I feel at home, having grown up on the water... Some of my earliest memories are being on my grandfather's sailboat, feeling the water underneath me. Water has always felt like home...a place of peace and retreat.

To watch my own children be able to have the opportunity to experience the water has been a glorious gift. On our first trip to the lake, I remember being very apprehensive about how they would take to the boat, and the fish, and a body of water that is far bigger then any swimming pool they have seen :) I was not surprised, when both KJ and Carter fell in love with the water. Whenever we talk about the "yake" they get so excited...they want to immediately start packing. It's a gift...and something I treasure greatly.

This Labor Day weekend, KJ and Carter were joined by their Auntie MoMo, Robbie, Jake, Brady, Matt and Matthew...as well as nearly the entire Hepler family. There were so many people, and overall I was impressed with their behavior. They did a very good job at sharing, going to sleep, and not getting up too early... It was a vacation we needed as a family, and I hope they loved it as much as I did.

"Look, Momma...I found the bumper to the boat!"

Eric helping KJ learn how to race her trike down the driveway...you should have heard her laugh...it was a beautiful thing.

Carter taking in the view of the lake....I love this picture of him, but hate it at the same time...He is getting so big!

The whole gang snuggling with my sister, Melanie (including my nephews: Robbie-Roo, Jake the Snake, and Brady-Box...and my own kiddos KJ the Great and Carter Buggie...we have great nicknames for our kiddos!)

Before you think my sister doesn't feed her children...they are just naturally kind of bony...here's all three of my buddies keeping an eye out for the big bass!

Brady taking his turn driving the boat...check out that face (could it be more adorable??)

"KJ's turn to drive!"

I'm so glad you came...Mel.

Eric's Grandpa Great sharing his cookie with my KJ. This picture brings tears to my eyes. She wanted to give him a kiss on the cheek (without being asked). I'm lucky to have such a tender hearted little girl.

It was a wonderful week-end, albeit exhausting at the same time (two kids under 3 around water all the time...whew...). I know they can't wait to go back!

dr. doolittle in training

To say that my daughter loves animals would be an understatement. She has an "adopted" kitty at her Auntie Mo Mo's house (Baxter) and now for the first time her very own puppy at mommy's house! Abby has quickly become a part of the family, and KJ (without any prompting) is calling her "my baby sister." Watching them play is so much fun.

I just may have a little Dr. Doolittle on my hands.....

lost

I am losing you.

day by day...moment by moment.

i am quite certain i shall not survive this.