she's at it again...

I know I'm pretty much ah-mazing, so I had to share this year's finds at the OshKosh outlet, and quite frankly brag about the deals I got.  Luckily, this year I only had to buy one summer wardrobe because Carter is finally in the right season for hand me-downs from his cousins, and my good friend, Brooke has gifted us with tons of really nice stuff.  The kid is totally set, down to a REAL pair of Birkenstocks for his little 3 (almost 4!) year old feet (thanks, Brooke).  I did get him a cute little pair of athletic shorts (he likes to match Eric when they are hanging around the house...SO cute) and an adorable shirt I couldn't pass up that has a big lion on it and says"moms mane man."  cheesy, perhaps.  cute, nonetheless.

So...onto my daughter's summer wardrobe.  I set out with a purpose this year that I wasn't going to go overboard.  It's not a suprise, but I guess it doesn't make it any easier to talk about, but since I only have her 50% of the time, she doesn't need to have fifteen pairs of shorts and thirty shirts.  My little tomboy who was happiest in a pair of pants and tshirt seven days a week has all of a sudden turned into a little princess and wants to wear dresses all of the time!  And I don't just mean to school and church, I mean playing outside in the dirt, sidewalk chalk on the driveway, riding bikes...you get the picture.  It's cute, I love her in dresses, but it can be annoying, I can't lie. 

(drumroll please...)

So the retail value of what I paid for:
7 pairs of shorts
3 tank tops
6 shirts
2 jean capris, 1 sweatpant material
2 dresses!!
1 adorable peasant skirt, tank top outfit
1 pair of summer jammies
Sneakers (which are adorable)
and just to top things off, a new set of hairbows...
EQUALS:
$433.50

And I paid....
(can you hear the bigger drumroll??)

$88.51.

I know, I'm pretty much awesome. 

distorted.

"I have to say that you and I are not supposed to be this way.  As creatures in need of somebody outside ourselves to name us, as creatures incomplete outside the companionship of God, our souls are born distorted, I am convinced of it.  I am convinced that Moses was right, that his explanation was greater than Frued's or Maslow's or Pavlov's.  I believe, without question, that none of us are happy in the way we are supposed to be happy.  I believe that nobody on this planet is so secure, so confident in their state that they feel the way Adam and Eve felt in the Garden, before they knew they were naked.  I believe we are in the wreckage of a war, a kind of Hiroshima, a kind of Mt. St. Helens, with souls distorted like the children of Chernboyl.  As terrible as it is to think about these things, as ugly as it is to face them, I have to see the world this way in order for it to make sense.  I have to believe something happened and we are walking around holding our wounds."
What In God's Name Are We Searching For

here's to making the best of it

While the idea of having a completely brand new house isn't revolting to me, it's the million little quirks and special things about a house that make it a home, in my opinion.  I love that this house was built more than fifty years ago, and that the cabinets are still original (with a fresh coat of paint or two).  I love that I have a gorgeous art print from my sister in my living room...and unless you read my blog you would never know our breaker box is behind it (he..he..) as our living room used to be the garage of the house.  I love my hardwood floors.  I'm falling in love with this house, one little "weird" thing at a time.

One particularly lovely little "weird" thing about my new house is the collection of blue glazed bathroom pieces...yes, blue...and yes, the toilet, sink AND shower.  It's not a good blue either.  One day it would be nice to revamp the bathroom, and even redo the ceramic tile countertop, but for now it was up to me to come up with something do-able...

Whatcha think?

before

new color, and my attempt at a shabby chic way to tie in the blue with brown

this is a look through the vanity at the shower curtain that is supposed to tie it all together...

the blue doesn't seem so bad.

actually, I think it's pretty cool.

and, if you can actually believe it, I did pick a neutral tone for the master bedroom, and Eric doesn't even know this (we'll see if he actually reads this...he he) but I took some old paint from our Broadway house and mixed in some of the brown from the bathroom and an even darker color of brown that I didn't go with for the bathroom.  Do I think playing around with paint colors is the smartest thing to do?  No.  Did it work out pretty well for me this time.  Yep.  It's our own "personal" color.  I like to call it "coffee with cream."

before...almost an olive green neutral.  yuk.

after...

Did I mention I'm falling in love with this place?

five years.

Five years ago today, I became a mother.  That single statement has altered every view and perception, every hope and dream, every committment and goal since.  Though I have shared the details of Katie's birth many times, I cannot express how grateful I am literally every single day for her life.  We weathered a storm, Katie and I, and although there are times I still struggle with the guilt of feeling as if it is my body that failed her, I also know what an inherent little fighter she is, and how (hopefully) this will become an amazing asset for her as she continues to grow... The statistics against her life are overwhelming, and I have a beautiful, healthy happy FIVE year old little girl.  This birthday is hard for me, I'm not going to lie.  Four still seemed toddler-ish and five is definitely not so much toddler anymore.  Her independence grows daily, she is inquisitive and curious, content and loved.  My beautiful little girl, Katie Jade was born five years ago today weighing two pounds and three ounces.  My little tiny baby girl is getting big...

Just a few highlights of my Katie's special day...

the beautiful birthday girl.

as soon as she got home from school she tore into the few presents that I let her open early.
(and I wonder why she's spoiled...geez)

however, after saying that...the Dora movie was a hit

score one for mom

and i'm always all about that :)

In case you're wondering Katie isn't saying she's zero, she saying that she's "one whole hand." 
Katie was very very excited (meaning talked about it CONSTANTLY) to be one whole hand.
I digress..

That night, after a lovely afternoon of playing with new presents, meeting a new neignborhood friend just two doors down, and riding bikes Papa Jay came over and we took KJ out for a birthday dinner at Steak 'n Shake.  We hardly ever go out to eat with the kids...just not worth it, usually, but we let Katie pick whatever she wanted off the menu.  Her selection: peanut buttter and jelly (which she doesn't even like at home) with a side of macaroni and cheese and a chocolate milkshake with NO white in it.  I have no idea what that means, but apparently it was important because she repeated it a lot.  She cracks me up.

We came home for cake and even more presents!

Happy Birthday, Katie.  You make my world brighter.  I love you.

make a wish...

my sweet girl on her special night.

It's been an amazing five years....and it has been so fun to watch you grow up.
We hope you had a special day.

And, yes...you finally get to be one whole hand :)

bikes!

I've been showing pics of the inside of the house, but haven't really shown anything that I love about the outside.  Now some of this is going to have to wait until our actual hosewarming party which WILL BE having....I can't give away all my secrets here :)...but one of my favorite things about the new house is the driveway.  I know, that sounds silly....

Many, many, many of my favorite childhood memories are filled with images and smells and sounds of the wind in my long little girl hair, the dirt from my usual freshly skinned knees, and pedaling as fast I could with my childhood friends.  I would beg to ride my bike, every moment that I could.  Such simple joys.

I'm so glad that KJ and Carter get to have this opportunity to make these kind of memories, too.  At our old house, we didn't get to ride bikes very much because the sidewalk was uneven and rocky at places, so the most that the kids would get to do it was at Papa Jay's house.  Well, now...they have their own little track that it's just long enough that they have fun going up and down over and over in between walks around the neighborhood.  Carter begs to ride his bike from the moment he gets home from school to when we finally have to drag him inside for dinner or bed.  Such sweet childhood memories, such wonderful moments.

I'm a lucky, lucky mom.

that's a lot of driveway!

my big guy

my sweet girl

pink

I have never had more fun in my life than when I designed Katie's nursery.  Little did I know, all the ideas would actually just be in my head, as I didn't even start decorating until she was three months old :)  I used four different colors, even painted her closet doors and stenciled a quote from "Oh, the Places You'll Go."  It's adorable.  I loved it. 

Whether or not I am emotionally capable of handling even the thought of this, my baby is becoming a little girl.  She decides what she wants to wear (sometimes sucessfully) and is becoming very possessive and sometimes even secretive about things.  I want to freeze time right now...keep her my baby girl.  What if I'm not cut out for this?  Then again, what if none of us are?

I wanted to make this room girly-girly like she wanted (she is however, still, quite the little princess), but not so bright as the colors of her last room (vibrant violet...really, corinne?).  I chose a softer pink for her walls, and attempted for the first time painting something on the wall...without a stencil.  The before/afters of these room are awesome, let's just say two gallons of high hiding primer is not fun to have to use before even attempting to actually use the pink paint you can't wait to see. 

p.s. get ready for some pink!  you've been warned :)

before...they were using it as a guest room, nice yet boring yellow walls right...nope

i have no idea what is going on with what can only be called the "bleeding wall."'  I don't know if this is some horrid faux-painting job gone bad or what, but it took an ENTIRE gallon of high hiding primer to cover the blood red.  Then, I had to prime all of the other walls, because the pink would have showed up differently underneath the yellow, than the white.  Ugghh..annoying.

finally...I am seeing pink and not blood :)

this picture is really only to make fun of me for edging around this mirror, oh so carefully for like an hour.
it comes off the wall in like five seconds.
i'm officially mentally challenged.

a pretty pink room :) 
I like to think of it as ballerina slipper pink

so...before you start laughing, I really did try!  This was my first attempt at a flower.  I had originally thought I would do a whole wall of varying heights but once I started and realized that each flower was taking at least an hour to finish, I quickly changed my mind and put two on each corner wall. 

just so you get an idea about where they are placed on the wall..

and, finally all four flowers all in a row :)

Again, decorated pictures will be forthcoming...this unpacking and decorating thing isn't so easy.

my name is...

Corinne, and I am a professed worrier.  There, I said it.  It can't be hidden anymore.  I worry about everything.  For example, if I wake up in the morning, even out of a dead sleep, and I haven't set the kids clothes out, my heart starts pounding, and I immediately start thinking worst case scenario, and literally have to calm myself down before I can get out of bed.  I'm scaring you aren't I?  he he.  Well, don't try to call my therapist, I already scared her away, too.  :)

This move has been so exciting and yet SO worrisome all at the same time.  I realize every day in this very curvy road called motherhood that the decisions I am making are directly impacting two little lives that have been entrusted to me.  Did I think KJ and Carter would hate moving?  No, absolutely not, their "new" house provides them so many things they didn't have before...but I also know they are just starting to make memories, and in twenty years from now they might look back and remember.  I just want to do things right, all the time, for everyone, and quite frankly, excuse my language, that's just damn exhausting. 

Ever my reminder of all things good in my life, when Katie and Carter saw me packing up some of the things in their rooms, they quickly joined forces in Carter's room and I could hear hushed whispers and just a few giggles here and there.  I wondered what they were up to, but didn't take too much stock in it.  As I'm sorting, boxing and labeling, they were doing the same...with what they told me I wasn't allowed to move, they wanted to carry ALL of their stuffed animals to the new house with them.  Oh, the heart of a child.  How I long for such carefree thoughts....

KJ and Bubby didn't carry all of their stuffed animals to the new house, but I made sure when they walked into their rooms for the first time, there they were, just as they had left them.  It made them happy, and that made my heavy heart just a little bit lighter.

A Room Fit for a Boy

I tend to get big ideas.  And then I want to accomplish those things.  No matter how hard they might be, or even if I have the slightest clue how to do it.  I actually semi-enjoy this about myself.  This sense of inquiry helped lay laminate flooring in both my childrens' nurseries, install chair rail along Carter's walls, stencil an adorable quote on KJ's wall...so with our big move, my big ideas just started flowing...

I'm not big into "themed" rooms, like Cars, of Spongebob, no offense...I just know they like something new about every eight days.  So, instead I like color.  Well, that's kinda an understatement, I LOVE COLOR. 

So, without further ado, here are the before and afters of my labor of love in creating a room truly fit for my boy.

carter's room...before

all prepped, and ready to paint

I hate edging!

base color finished....now on to the hard part

I decided to do not just ONE horizontal stripe around his room, but THREE! 
It was a huge task to undertake...I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
The taping alone took at least six hours....

The other two colors (plus the base color) are colors in his quilt.  The middle stripe is 8 inches of navy blue, and then 4 inches of the base color on the top and bottom, and then 3 inch orange stripes on the top and bottom.  The orange took at least three coats (thanks, britty!!!)

here comes the big reveal!  I was so nervous!  Once that tape started to peel off cleanly...
I felt so much better!

dum...dum...dum...

the finished painted room!

pictures of "decorated" rooms will be coming...

too long.

I've been away from my blog for too long.

I realize that it has become my outlet, the creative thing I get to do that takes me away from the responsibilities that crowd my life. 

So...what have I been doing?

Well, let's list:
1. PAINTING.  No really, I have done a lot of painting, more paining than one should ever do in that short amount of time. Posts will follow showing my before and afters, but for now, you'll just have to wait anxiously.. ha ha.

2. PACKING.  Are you sensing a theme here?  Yes...moving day is quickly arriving.  Too quickly.  Positives: I think the Glendale Goodwill might be entirely stocked now with just items from my house, seriously.  I've purged and purged until I can't purge anymore.  No more ill-fitting clothes, or toys that don't work.  My children have dressers with neatly folded clothes, and toys with all the parts.  That makes me feel good.  Don't ask me about the organization of all my teaching crap (what am I supposed to do with five years worth of teaching stuff?  Get rid of it?  Keep it?  For what?) or scrapbooking stuff.  One thing at a time, Corinne...one thing at a time.

3. ADJUSTING.  I don't like change.  I never have.  Even when it can be good change.  I won't go into too many details right now, mostly because my mind hasn't even processed the details, but again, one thing at a time, Corinne, one thing at a time.

There is much to look forward to....and I'm keeping my chin up.

best buds

((too cute for words))

i love my boys.

Easter

Seven Stanzas at Easter
(John Updike)


Make no mistake: if He rose at all
it was as His body;
if the cells' dissolution did not reverse, the molecules
reknit, the amino acids rekindle,
the Church will fall.


It was not as the flowers,
each soft Spring recurrent;
it was not as His Spirit in the mouths and fuddled
eyes of the eleven apostles;
it was as His Flesh: ours.


The same hinged thumbs and toes,
the same valved heart
that — pierced — died, withered, paused, and then
regathered out of enduring Might
new strength to enclose.


Let us not mock God with metaphor,
analogy, sidestepping transcendence;
making of the event a parable, a sign painted in the
faded credulity of earlier ages:
let us walk through the door.


The stone is rolled back, not papier-mache,
not a stone in a story,
but the vast rock of materiality that in the slow
grinding of time will eclipse for each of us
the wide light of day.


And if we will have an angel at the tomb,
make it a real angel,
weighty with Max Planck's quanta, vivid with hair,
opaque in the dawn light, robed in real linen
spun on a definite loom.


Let us not seek to make it less monstrous,
for our own convenience, our own sense of beauty,
lest, awakened in one unthinkable hour, we are
embarrassed by the miracle,
and crushed by remonstrance.

Today we will not mock God in metaphor and pass over the importance of this holiday caught up in baskets of candy and pretty dresses.  He is Risen.  And we are grateful.

my eggies need to take a bath!

This was our second year coloring eggs at Papa Jay's.  It was a difficult day, remembering how just one short year ago, Mama Deb was with us, dancing to the singing Easter bunny and helping the kids discover coloring eggs for the very first time.

A look back...

Everytime I walk in your door, there is a part of me that expects you to still be there....smiling, laughing, happy to see Katie and Carter.  We miss you terribly.  I want you to know that the kids talk about you a lot...the special bear that you got Katie for her birthday has forever been named "mama deb bear," and the kids ask where you are...often.  They take comfort that I can tell them that you are in heaven, taking care of their cousin, Lily, and their first doggy, Lucky.  The memories are so real, so vivid, I want to reach up and grasp them so I can have more time with you.  I know it sounds selfish.  I know you're not in pain.  I know you're resting.  But I want you here.  I want more time. 

The kids had fun making their eggies "take baths" as Carter said.  He was impatient this year, just like last, and didn't want to wait for them to turn colors. After the eggs were drying from their "baths," the kids went outside for an easter hunt and found lots of eggs with jelly beans, a few chocolates, and "monies" for their new piggy banks!  Then...it was inside for the famous "where did papa jay hide the easter baskets" game.  After a lot of "hot" and "cold" they finally found them inside the dryer.  They both got new Star Wars books (their latest obsession) and lots of fun candy and little toys.  By the time we left, we had two sugar crashing kids in desperate need of nap. 

It was a bittersweet time, but I basked in the laughter and smiles of my children, and found peace knowing that we will see you again, our mama deb.  Thank you Papa Jay for making such special memories with the kids.

Katie and Carter's pretty eggs

The Egg Hunt...

Thanks Papa Jay for our awesome Easter baskets :)



(jellybeans are yummy!)