day number thirty...the end.

Wow.  I made it.  Making my blog a sort of priority has been good for me.  It's forced me to think, forced me to write, while at the same time bringing out so many thoughts, memories and feelings, not all of them necessarily "happy".  And I'm okay with that.  Because 30 photos of my life in 30 days is bound to have a few really bad pictures.  I think I'm beginning to learn it's just how life works.

so day thirty...

(a picture of someone you miss)

She has been the subject of more than one of my thirty days, because she was such an impact on me in the two short years I was blessed to have spent with her.  I miss our Mama Deb.  I miss her all of the time, and in specific moments.  I miss her for selfish reasons because I want her here.  I want to talk to her.  Damn it, I want to talk to her.  But I can't.  And that makes me sad.  I miss her for Katie and Carter, because they miss her.  They talk about her, unprompted, all the time.  And I don't know how to give their little hearts solace.  But I promise them that she is watching down on them, and smiling at their lives.  And I believe that. 
Deb, I hope that you would be proud of where life has taken your family since you've gone.  Your impression is felt everywhere, reminders of you in so much of our lives.  Your love lives on.  And I promise you, that will not stop.  Ever.  I miss you.  So very much.

(regrettably the only picture I have of Deb and I together)

"As long as I can I will look at this world for both of us. 

 As long as I can I will laugh with the birds,

I will sing with the flowers,
I will pray to the stars,
for both of us."

anonomyous